Things are easier by Nate Geballe

I did a vlog today. It was about how things are easier now. Daily tasks that I found hard before surgery are now a lot easier and or don't give me trouble anymore. I can sleep without having to worry about my CPAP machine. I can sit in a booth at a restaurant. Well, some of them. I don't have to take Zantac every night because I'm afraid of burping acid in my sleep. I can put on my socks and shoes now without a struggle. It's nice. I'm not so worried anymore. 

Today I FEEL ok. 

Grandpa is 95 by Nate Geballe

I've been in Nor Cal for a few days. Yesterday we all celebrated Grandpa's 95th birthday. So amazing. Dinner was really nice and I'm glad that I've been able to spend more and more time with my Grandparents over the years since I left home. There are many times, more so recently, that I think I should move home in a couple years. Colorado is also a place that speaks to me. Maybe just somewhere north. At the moment I can't even imagine leaving LA. I also can't imagine staying there for my whole life. It all just feels really confusing right now. 

Today I FEEL tired. 

Holy Smokes, It's 2015. by Nate Geballe

I remember Y2K. I remember 2002. I remember all these things that have now past and seem like a far distant memory. It is really hard to believe that it is 2015. I'm almost 27. I'm almost 30!!! Talk about terrifying. 

I've been having trouble with eating lately. I don't eat too much. Well, I used to eat too much. But more so my problem is eating too fast. When I eat too fast, it really takes a toll on my stomach. It feels like someone is stabbing me and it's so incredibly frustrating. I guess I need to learn how to slow the hell down. Especially now that my stomach is like the size of an acorn. It's not, but it feels like it sometimes. 

I'm eating breakfast right now and feel like I can't finish it. I've barely touched it actually. Oh well, it will get better the farther and farther I am away from surgery. Or at least I hope so. Having surgery has been exponentially harder than I ever anticipated. It's like binging and whatever else is easy. Being sane with food is the actual work. 

Today I FEEL tired. 

Happy New Year by Nate Geballe

Happy New Year everyone! I have a feeling this is going to be a big year. I really need to write down my goals and what I want to achieve with myself and my career. I'm somewhat excited to see what this month brings. 

I'm going to Sedona this weekend. I really hope there is snow on the ground. I really want to do some nudes in the snow. I just feel like it would be so beautiful. I can see it in my head. Perfect white snow. I'm anxious for it. 

Today I FEEL excited. 

Home again by Nate Geballe

I got back to Los Angeles yesterday. The drive wasn't that bad. It actually went by really quickly. But I made a very poor decision before I left home. I didn't pack anything food wise for the road. I stopped at a gas station about 1.5 hours from L.A. and grabbed a banana. It was only thing that I found that I can really eat at this stage. IT TASTED SO GOOD! Probably the best banana that I've had in forever. I hope to not make that mistake again. It's not pleasant to drive that long running on empty. 

I shot once while I was at home. Down at the barn. I tried to get in the creek but I didn't want to get scratched up and possibly poison oak. I also didn't want to not be able to get back up and not have help. Maybe I will do it when I'm town next for Grandpa's birthday. The photos came out pretty interesting. It surprises me when I get a good photo out of something that I thought was a waste of time. 

I bought underwater housing too. Equinox, for my Mark III. Maybe that will be the designated underwater cam. I want to shoot in the pool the next time I head up North. It will be freezing but I seem to get pretty cool images while in the water. I can always call ahead of time and ask that they turn on the pool. 

I'm getting really impatient. I want so many things to happen that are happening quickly but so seemingly slow at the same time. I'm scared of my weight. Weighing less is weighing on me. Losing weight is weighing on me. I guess I'm just scared, anxious and nervous for this next year. Seems like it might be a big one. 

Today I FEEL anxious/motivated.