Tonight is the night before I have gastric-bypass surgery.. I'm not really all that nervous. I'm much calmer than I ever anticipated. Somehow, I feel ready. It's the craziest feeling and so surreal. I never thought I would be sitting here with a cup of decaf instead of biting my nails to nubs in my closet. I'm sure my nerves will catch up with me tomorrow but for now I'm enjoying the feeling of being free.
Food hasn't been as difficult the past two days. It's funny, nothing is like I expected it to be. I expected this clear liquid diet to be unbearable but I don't really mind it at the moment. Yeah, I do talk about food. I do think about how nice it would be to drive to Chipotle right now or have Bossa Nova deliver. But the truth of the matter is, I'm not all that hungry. I feel done.
I plan on shooting tonight. If I can fit it in a shoot tomorrow morning as well, I would love to. Maybe I'll get up when the sun rises and take some more. I think it would be a great idea to have some from the day of. I wonder how the staff at Cedars will react when my tripod gets pulled out of my duffle. I'll make a fuss if they don't let me use it. Hopefully it will not come to that.
Today I FEEL calm.