weight loss

Home again by Nate Geballe

I got back to Los Angeles yesterday. The drive wasn't that bad. It actually went by really quickly. But I made a very poor decision before I left home. I didn't pack anything food wise for the road. I stopped at a gas station about 1.5 hours from L.A. and grabbed a banana. It was only thing that I found that I can really eat at this stage. IT TASTED SO GOOD! Probably the best banana that I've had in forever. I hope to not make that mistake again. It's not pleasant to drive that long running on empty. 

I shot once while I was at home. Down at the barn. I tried to get in the creek but I didn't want to get scratched up and possibly poison oak. I also didn't want to not be able to get back up and not have help. Maybe I will do it when I'm town next for Grandpa's birthday. The photos came out pretty interesting. It surprises me when I get a good photo out of something that I thought was a waste of time. 

I bought underwater housing too. Equinox, for my Mark III. Maybe that will be the designated underwater cam. I want to shoot in the pool the next time I head up North. It will be freezing but I seem to get pretty cool images while in the water. I can always call ahead of time and ask that they turn on the pool. 

I'm getting really impatient. I want so many things to happen that are happening quickly but so seemingly slow at the same time. I'm scared of my weight. Weighing less is weighing on me. Losing weight is weighing on me. I guess I'm just scared, anxious and nervous for this next year. Seems like it might be a big one. 

Today I FEEL anxious/motivated. 

Day 11 by Nate Geballe

Today is travel day. Many many hours in the car. I might just drive myself crazy thinking about food. Good thing I won't be traveling alone. I don't think that I could do it by myself at the moment. I would make the first fast food stop I could. 

I slept a good part of the morning away. I just would rather kill the time I have before departure asleep I guess. My scale arrived in the mail last night. I stepped on and I'm convinced it's inaccurate. It says that I've lost over 20 lbs. I suppose it isn't too out of the ordinary considering I'm not eating much at all and most of it is coming from protein shakes. I would be very happy if it were true. It would be so satisfying to show them at Cedars that I really did it. That I took it seriously and lost some weight. Better yet for myself. 

Today I FEEL nervous. 

The Night Before by Nate Geballe

Tonight is the night before I have gastric-bypass surgery.. I'm not really all that nervous. I'm much calmer than I ever anticipated. Somehow, I feel ready. It's the craziest feeling and so surreal. I never thought I would be sitting here with a cup of decaf instead of biting my nails to nubs in my closet. I'm sure my nerves will catch up with me tomorrow but for now I'm enjoying the feeling of being free. 

Food hasn't been as difficult the past two days. It's funny, nothing is like I expected it to be. I expected this clear liquid diet to be unbearable but I don't really mind it at the moment. Yeah, I do talk about food. I do think about how nice it would be to drive to Chipotle right now or have Bossa Nova deliver. But the truth of the matter is, I'm not all that hungry. I feel done.

I plan on shooting tonight. If I can fit it in a shoot tomorrow morning as well, I would love to. Maybe I'll get up when the sun rises and take some more. I think it would be a great idea to have some from the day of. I wonder how the staff at Cedars will react when my tripod gets pulled out of my duffle. I'll make a fuss if they don't let me use it. Hopefully it will not come to that. 

Today I FEEL calm.