surgery

Things are easier by Nate Geballe

I did a vlog today. It was about how things are easier now. Daily tasks that I found hard before surgery are now a lot easier and or don't give me trouble anymore. I can sleep without having to worry about my CPAP machine. I can sit in a booth at a restaurant. Well, some of them. I don't have to take Zantac every night because I'm afraid of burping acid in my sleep. I can put on my socks and shoes now without a struggle. It's nice. I'm not so worried anymore. 

Today I FEEL ok. 

Holy Smokes, It's 2015. by Nate Geballe

I remember Y2K. I remember 2002. I remember all these things that have now past and seem like a far distant memory. It is really hard to believe that it is 2015. I'm almost 27. I'm almost 30!!! Talk about terrifying. 

I've been having trouble with eating lately. I don't eat too much. Well, I used to eat too much. But more so my problem is eating too fast. When I eat too fast, it really takes a toll on my stomach. It feels like someone is stabbing me and it's so incredibly frustrating. I guess I need to learn how to slow the hell down. Especially now that my stomach is like the size of an acorn. It's not, but it feels like it sometimes. 

I'm eating breakfast right now and feel like I can't finish it. I've barely touched it actually. Oh well, it will get better the farther and farther I am away from surgery. Or at least I hope so. Having surgery has been exponentially harder than I ever anticipated. It's like binging and whatever else is easy. Being sane with food is the actual work. 

Today I FEEL tired. 

Home again by Nate Geballe

I got back to Los Angeles yesterday. The drive wasn't that bad. It actually went by really quickly. But I made a very poor decision before I left home. I didn't pack anything food wise for the road. I stopped at a gas station about 1.5 hours from L.A. and grabbed a banana. It was only thing that I found that I can really eat at this stage. IT TASTED SO GOOD! Probably the best banana that I've had in forever. I hope to not make that mistake again. It's not pleasant to drive that long running on empty. 

I shot once while I was at home. Down at the barn. I tried to get in the creek but I didn't want to get scratched up and possibly poison oak. I also didn't want to not be able to get back up and not have help. Maybe I will do it when I'm town next for Grandpa's birthday. The photos came out pretty interesting. It surprises me when I get a good photo out of something that I thought was a waste of time. 

I bought underwater housing too. Equinox, for my Mark III. Maybe that will be the designated underwater cam. I want to shoot in the pool the next time I head up North. It will be freezing but I seem to get pretty cool images while in the water. I can always call ahead of time and ask that they turn on the pool. 

I'm getting really impatient. I want so many things to happen that are happening quickly but so seemingly slow at the same time. I'm scared of my weight. Weighing less is weighing on me. Losing weight is weighing on me. I guess I'm just scared, anxious and nervous for this next year. Seems like it might be a big one. 

Today I FEEL anxious/motivated. 

Day 18 Post Op by Nate Geballe

It's ALMOST CHRISTMAS! I'm going home for the holiday on Tuesday. I'm not looking forward to the drive but am excited to see my family. I haven't been able to exercise much because my back went out over the weekend. Today I will try to walk around the block and see how far I get. 

I shot a bit last night. It went in a really interesting direction. I feel like everything that I've done lately has motion included. Maybe it's because I feel like I'm in some sort of whirlwind. None of it feels real and I constantly forget that surgery actually happened. Maybe that will change over time. 

Today I FEEL anxious. 

Day 10 Post Op by Nate Geballe

Today is the second day of my new meal plan phase. I can't even begin to describe how good that tomato soup was yesterday. Probably the best thing I've had in my entire life. I guess when you haven't eaten anything remotely solid for over two weeks, anything seems good. I'm feeling a lot better than I was this time last week. Time heals as they say. And last night was nice, lot's of laughing and a good mood. 

I'm GOING to shoot tonight. I'll have help which should be motivating. It's just so intimidating when I'm all by myself and not 100% normal. But today is the first day that I've felt really good and able to move around well. 

Today I FEEL pretty damn good.