self

Day 7 Post Op by Nate Geballe

Today has been a week since surgery. I'm feeling better and stronger each day. Today is the first day that I've walked at a normal speed since pre-op. I'm having pretty vivid nightmares. Or at least they are nightmares to me. Last night I dreamt that I had forgotten that I had surgery and was half way through a Jack in the Box burger before remembering again. I was surprised to wake up not in pain. 

I have to do some more shooting today. I feel like when I'm not shooting everyday, I'm behind. I must do some more video diaries as well. I feel like I'm also lacking in that department. Chip chop, hurry up!

Today I FEEL excited to be walking better. 

Day 5 Post Op by Nate Geballe

Yesterday was really difficult. I never imagined I would feel that shitty. Every time I thought about a protein shake I wanted to throw up. I managed to get two down which is 60 grams of protein. That is 15 grams less than the minimum I need daily. I'm so scared of malnutrition. I DON'T want to lose my hair!

I didn't shoot yesterday. I didn't have the strength to set it all up. I was too tired. I take walks during the day but they only last about five minutes before I think I'm getting too tired. I will shoot today. I have help today. Today I will be ok. 

Today I FEEL better than yesterday. Thank gawd. 

Day 4 Post Op by Nate Geballe

I'm sleeping better. I'm usually a side/stomach sleeper but I've been surprisingly comfortable on my back. Especially at home, my bed is so much more comfortable than the hospital ones. Thank god for that. 

Everyone has been really supportive so far. It's nice to know that people have my back through this crazy time. It makes me feel better. As far as the liquids and protein go, I need to get to steppin. It's not easy to get all 64 ounces down and atleast 75-100g of protein. Maybe I just need to get up earlier in the day. 

I'm going to shoot today. This will be my first day shooting since I got home. Should be interesting. I have a lot of photos that I still need to edit from over the week. I like that I have work to do. Adds a sense of usefulness to my day. 

Today I FEEL more optimistic. 

Day 3 Post Op by Nate Geballe

Today is day 3 post op from gastric bypass surgery. Most of the pain I feel is gas related. It just won't come out. I wasn't expecting it to be so painful. I was not at all prepared to feel that pain when I awoke from the anesthesia either. Pain in my neck, shoulders and stomach. Gas EVERYWHERE! I was half naked which everyone kept trying to cover up, but I really couldn't have cared less at that point. I really just didn't care if people could see my breasts. 

I was being rolled into my final destination room and the gurney guy called me a he. I then loudly replied with "Well hello there, SIR!!!!!" If he was going to call me a he then I was going to make him pay the price for it. 

I shot a couple times while in the hospital. The first night at 3am. I just couldn't sleep so I might as well have been moving that damn gas around and getting some new work in. I managed to hold the night nurse hostage for a little while to help me set up the photo.  I did a video diary and I shot both other days while I was there too. Lydia Emily came to visit and interviewed me for a good 20 minutes. Following me around and such. I'm grateful she was there, but even more that she pushed me to work for it. 

I got home around 530pm last night. The biggest worry I had was that the cats would jump all over my stomach. It happened once when I got home but I was more worried it would happen in my sleep. Well, it didn't because we locked them out. They pawed at the door the entire night. :-(

Last night I was feeling really discouraged that I would fail at this whole thing. But, I think I woke up this morning with a better attitude because I don't feel that as much anymore. It kind of just dissipated. I still have many worries but they are not as overwhelming like last night. I will be fine. I am fine. I can do this. 

Today I FEEL motivated. 

The Day Of by Nate Geballe

I'm a little more nervous than I was earlier. I have butterflies in my stomach. That anticipatory feeling is rushing through my bloodstream. Everything will be ok. Everything will be ok. Or atleast I think everything will be ok. I'm hungry right now but not starved. I'm thirsty right now but not parched. I just feel ok. I guess I am ok. See you on the other side. 

Today I FEEL ok.