enough

IDK by Nate Geballe

I feel like I'm not doing enough. I also feel really frustrated with shooting. Yeah, I guess it all goes back to the thought that I'm just not doing enough. It's like I have cat hair all over me and don't know how to get it off. It's always there. Well, I guess I usually always am covered in cat hair. Oh well. 

I feel this unspoken pressure all around me. I have a lot of anxiety regarding that. It really doesn't feel good to feel like I'm drowning. Drowning is a big fear of mine. It just seems so shitty to drown. It sounds extremely painful. I guess I just have a lot of fears at the moment. 

Today I FEEL anxious. 

Day 9 Post Op by Nate Geballe

Today is a new day! I am on stage two of my new meal plan! Soups! Pudding! Yogurt! Almond Milk! FUCK YEAH! The constant protein shakes, water and occasional chicken broth was making me feel shitty. I haven't had solid food in over two weeks. That's crazy to me. No wonder I keep having dreams about stealing and eating EVERYONE's mac n' cheese. Haha. 

I haven't really shot in a couple of days. Makes me feel down on this project. That I'm not doing enough. But honestly, I JUST HAD MAJOR SURGERY! I am doing ENOUGH! But I will say this, I will make more of an effort to shoot a little and do more video diaries. That is a must. Must must must. 

Today I FEEL excited? Weird...